


polarize

by kaneki_coffee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Pining, its just very small and hard to see im so sorry, kenhina - Freeform, kurayami ni strobe au, photographer oikawa, suga's a sweetheart, unbeelievable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaneki_coffee/pseuds/kaneki_coffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugawara cheered and skipped away from the bus stop, turning to walk backward as he waited for Oikawa to catch up. Oikawa laughed, the chilly air biting his throat. He didn’t say anything about getting asked out, he thought bitterly behind his smile. Or rejecting her. And now I’m laughing as if I don’t know anything.</p><p>I wonder which one of us has it harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	polarize

**Author's Note:**

  * For [transtobio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/transtobio/gifts).



> This is for SKY my fav pun friend who i will gladly battle over words with any day. (that's a pun challenge, my friend) You're unbeelievably cool and I'm always in shock that I have such a cool person to talk to.
> 
> This was originally supposed to revolve around puns and nerding out, but after you told me how much you loved a certain manga, I immediately scrapped that idea because I thought this suited what I wanted more. I also had to add kenhina, but they don't do much in this *sigh*. It's based pretty heavily plot wise around Kurayami ni Strobe, but I added my own flair, I suppose. I hope you love reading it as much as I loved writing~
> 
> i also wrote the obligatory short joke. because youre short. ily pls dont beat me up for it

 

Oikawa tucked his knees close to his chest and quietly let out a breath he didn't remember holding. It was a heavy sigh, long and drawn out, one that rocked his body forward from his unsteady perch at the bottom of the locker room stairs. His white school blazer was draped over his shoulders like a blanket, but the warmth it provided didn't stop him from shivering slightly. Autumn wasn't exactly over yet, but the colder winds seemed to be coming earlier than he had expected, even at midday with the sun shining high in the sky. Two untouched juice boxes rested beside him, but he ignored them. It had been a stupid idea to buy two. A stupid idea to come out here. He stared at the cracked concrete of the sidewalk in front of him, carefully schooling his features into a blank mask, a startling difference from the train wreckage of thoughts in his head. He was listening.

 

The sound of voices carried over to the stairs where he sat, and he knew without looking that the two figures were standing just around the corner of the gym, tucked between the overgrown hedges and safe from roaming eyes. There was an old story behind that specific spot, Oikawa knew. He had overheard some of the girls in his club discussing it once, whispering excitedly but not bothering to hold back their shrieks of laughter. Originally, it was believed that a friendly spirit resided in the trees and befriended humans, giving them wealth and the best of luck. But over the years (and many generations of horny high school students), the story had morphed until it had become what it was today– a popular confession site. He didn't think any of the girls actually believed the place had powers, but they still used it, nevertheless. It was a tradition.

 

It had been easy to find a hiding spot that was close enough to hear.

 

Oikawa listened with only half an ear as the girl spoke, her voice soft and sweet. He could basically hear her blushing, and he wondered if this girl had brought chocolates like the last one had. Probably. She had a similar voice. He picked at the black paint of the staircase railing with a long finger, watching as paint flakes buried themselves under the tip of his perfectly manicured nail. 

 

_The girl sounds like she means every word_ , he thought, twisting his finger in a harsh spin with surprising ferocity, gouging a small hole into the soft wood. _Probably loves him so_ , he wrenched his finger again, _damn_ , another spin, _much_. Splinters pierced the pad of his finger, drawing drops of blood.

 

He couldn't hear what Sugawara quietly said in return. He didn't really need to. He knew it by heart.

 

“I’m sorry," the gentle voice played in his mind like a broken record, "I'm really happy that you feel that way about me, but I've been spending so much time playing volleyball that I haven't been able to think about any other stuff." Insert the gentle yet firm return of chocolates with a wistful smile. "Thank you, though." 

 

If it were anyone else, the girl would probably run away crying, but not for Sugawara. He was too damn nice for that, and every girl realized that he meant every word he said. Oikawa pulled himself off the steps and walked away before he could get caught eavesdropping, allowing a sour expression to slide onto his face as he headed back to his classroom for lunch.

 

_I shouldn't get more involved_ , he thought bitterly, shoving his hands through the arm holes of his blazer and straightening it so it didn't hang at an odd angle. _One day, I'll have to accept the appropriate punishment._

 

* * *

 

"Oikawa-san, these pictures are so beautiful! You make them all look so nice!"

 

Oikawa grinned easily at the group of girls that surrounded his desk, comfortable being the center of attention. They flipped through a pile of envelopes containing pictures he had taken over the week, exclaiming more with every new picture. "You're too kind," he teased, leaning forward to prop his elbows on the desk and rest his chin in his hands. "They're nothing much. If you're that interested in pictures of Tobio-chan, you should flip to the back of that book. It has the few I managed to snap where he didn't have a scary smile on his face."

 

The girl who had spoken laughed lightly, covering her open mouth with a small hand and tilting her head at just the right angle so her hair hung away from her pretty face. "I think his smile is sort of cute," she confided playfully, running a delicate finger down the photograph.

 

"Oh?" Oikawa asked, keeping his smile bright. "Then I'll snap a few more pictures of him for you to choose from next time! Are there any you'd like from here? It's one hundred yen for one photo and just four hundred for a set of five. If you order now, you'll have them after only three days~"

 

A small figure sitting in the chair behind Oikawa clicked his tongue, his eyes never flickering away from the video game in his hands. "Don't overwork yourself, Oikawa."

 

Oikawa turned to direct his smile at the boy as he accepted the money and slipped it into his pocket. "Kenma, are you worried for me?" he crooned, wrapping his long arms around the back of his chair as he smirked playfully.

 

"No," Kenma replied shortly, more focused on his game than the conversation.

 

Oikawa laughed in amusement, twisting back around in his seat as two boys pushed through the crowd of girls that had begun to drift away to their own desks. The two were presumably done with their lunches from the state of crumbs on their jacket lapels. 

 

"Oikawa!"

 

"No!" Oikawa said firmly before they began, holding up his hand. "You've asked me almost twenty times already."

 

"Don't be like that!" Nishinoya begged, flinging his hands together and throwing himself onto his knees as if in prayer. "You're our main man! Our bro! Our king! You are the ruler of the galaxy, and we are but humble, tiny grains of sand beneath your feet! Not even the nice sand! The rocky kind that gets stuck in your sandals!”

 

"Noya-san, that was sorta hardcore poetic," Tanaka said, amazed.

 

Nishinoya tossed a proud glance over his shoulder, ruining whatever dramatic tension he had worked so hard to build. "Dude, I know, I gotta use that again."

 

"Write it down," Tanaka suggested helpfully, snickering. "That way you can use it on Asahi, too. He'd probably melt into the floor if you called him the ruler of the galaxy.”

 

"Oooh, you think so?"

 

"Bro, did you see his face when you called him the Gentle Giant yesterday? Hang on, I took a picture, it was so great." He started to dig his phone out of his back pocket.

 

Oikawa stared between the two, squinting in disbelief. They could go on all day like that if he didn't interrupt. "You wanted something?" He reminded them, coughing into his hand.

 

They both jumped as if they had forgotten he was there. Nishinoya whipped back around and bowed his head. "Please, do us a favor!" he yelled.

 

"You guys, I–"

 

"C'mon, Oikawa," Nishinoya pressed. "Why don't you stop taking pictures of guys and start taking some of the girls? It's not like they hate you!"

 

"Please!" Tanaka added again, slamming his hands on Oikawa's desk and leaning forward in desperation. "Us guys need some pictures, too! I wanna see more of Kiyoko-san!"

 

"You do realize that if I take pictures of Kiyoko-chan, others can buy them, too, right?" Oikawa asked them, pulling away hastily.

 

Nishinoya tipped forward onto the ground in shock, clutching his heart. "No!"

 

"We'll buy them all!" Tanaka growled, locking his arms with Nishinoya's and hauling him to his feet. "We'll protect her from prying eyes!"

 

Oikawa frowned and leaned back, tapping his chin in thought. "I don't know. I suppose I can take a few pictures since you two won't stop bugging me. And if the girls agree," he added hurriedly.

 

Nishinoya and Tanaka traded shocked faces, not expecting Oikawa to finally say yes. They whooped in excitement loudly, high-fiving and running back out of the classroom. Nishinoya was literally leaping in the air, although with his short height, it barely made a difference. If he was suspended in air at his jump height, he might, _might_ just measure below average height for someone of his age.

 

"What? Not even a thank you?" Oikawa complained, collapsing on his desk. "How do they always have so much energy? I thought the volleyball team used the beginning of lunch for practice. They should be so tired that they're sleeping on the floor. Muscle heads.”

 

"You agreed to do it," Kenma observed, sparing a glance from his game to watch the back of Oikawa's head with steady eyes. "That's a first."

 

"Mmm," Oikawa hummed monotonously. “Yeah, I guess. The girls are cute." He didn't continue the thought, staring at his hands before twisting to smirk at his friend. "Almost as cute as you, Kenma."

 

Kenma stared into his eyes until Oikawa blinked and glanced away, breaking their locked gazes and pushing away uncomfortable thoughts that Kenma could see right through him.

 

Their friendship wasn't quite traditional, but the two had always made it work. They were both in the photography club, so maybe it was a bond of convenience more than anything else. Kenma would play his games and ignore Oikawa's teasing, and Oikawa would gossip and buy snacks for them. They rarely shared a meaningful conversation, and spent most of their time together only during lunch or club activities, but it was times like these that Oikawa was reminded that Kenma wasn't just quietly ignoring him. Behind his soft face and the curtain of hair that separated him from the outside world, he was always watching, observing. Thinking.

 

A hand placed on the back of his chair interrupted his thoughts, a small warning before the figure behind him reached over his head to pluck a photo that was tucked behind the open notebook on his desk. 

 

"Oh!" Sugawara exclaimed with a smile that warmed his face, "You took new ones?" Behind him, Hinata squatted beside Kenma, having followed Sugawara into the classroom from the gym. The other third years in the class didn’t even bat an eye at the two first years behind Sugawara– they were used to seeing younger students crowd around Oikawa. His desk was a popular place to be.

 

"Of course," Oikawa sang with an effortless grin, snagging the photo from Sugawara's hand and pressing it carefully into the small book. "I'm already done developing the one's from yesterday's practice match, too~" He closed the book with a snap and held it over his head, offering it to his friend. 

 

"Really? Tooru, you're so fast," Sugawara commented, flipping through the notebook of samples with interest. "They're all amazing!"

 

Oikawa leaned back in his chair, closing the gap between them, the tips of his hair brushing against the front of Sugawara's open jacket. "I really appreciate your help, Kou-chan," he tossed offhandedly. "Your beautiful face makes everyone on the team look pretty." 

 

“You’re so kind,” Sugawara remarked.

 

“I aim to please.” Oikawa stuck his tongue out, confident in the fact that Sugawara couldn't see his face behind the notebook.

 

Sugawara ran a finger over the page he was looking at and bit his lip, fighting and failing to hide a glowing smile. He moved the book away to glance down at his friend, so quickly that Oikawa bit his tongue trying to shove it back in his mouth. His hands leaped to his face and he tried not to fall to the floor in pain. First his damn finger, now his tongue. Sugawara was slowly killing him.

 

"I really like the pictures you take, Tooru." His words were filled with just as much warmth as his smile, making the world around them seem to freeze as Oikawa struggled to come up with a proper response that didn't include flushing beet red or spitting blood in Sugawara's face.

 

Hinata unexpectedly jumped in and saved him from his suffering. "Woah. Sugawara-san, that's sorta embarrassing." 

 

Sugawara turned to face them, and Oikawa took the opportunity to sink lower into his seat, attempting to stop both his racing heart and bleeding tongue. Hinata was staring at them in amazement as he chewed on a plastic straw. An empty box of coffee milk sat on Kenma's desk in front of him. 

 

"What's embarrassing about it?" Sugawara asked. "I really meant it." 

 

Oikawa tried his best not to sink into his seat any more than he already had. He could feel his face growing redder by the second. Kenma pretended to shrink away from Sugawara's brightness, still more focused on the video game in his hands. Hinata fell into a bout of giggling.

 

"Well," Sugawara amended with an easy laugh, "I suppose I'm actually praising his family? They run a photo studio from home and they taught him all he knows. Don't get me wrong though, it's really hard! I tried it once and failed miserably. Tooru's really amazing that he picked it up so fast."

 

“Please,” Oikawa sighed, “I’m using a digital camera, Kou-chan, it’s not that hard.”

 

“But your personal camera isn’t digital. You have to develop that film by hand, which is an impressive talent alone. And nobody else can take such elegant photos.”

 

Oikawa’s cheeks were burning with the pain of maintaining a calm face. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead as he tried to rearrange his expression until it was back under control.

 

Sugawara laughed at his attempt to look cool and lightly swatted him atop the head with the notebook. "He's always been like this," he told Hinata. "Even in primary school.”

 

_Please, world, just swallow me up_ , Oikawa begged silently. Only Sugawara managed to put him so off guard. Years of friendship meant nothing. Oikawa couldn't figure him out, and it made him nervous and jumpy. Not to mention that it completely shattered the calm, cool, and collected outer image he had practiced so hard to perfect.

 

"How long have you been friends, Sugawara-san?" Kenma asked, curious. He put his PSP down on his desk, the screen darkening as he flicked it off. It was rare for him to try to take part in a conversation.

 

Oikawa peered around Sugawara's body, not appreciating the sudden interest, flashing him a glare that clearly told him not to encourage Sugawara anymore. He motioned for Kenma to pick up his game again. 

 

Kenma ignored him.

 

“Yeah,” Hinata interrupted, face lit up with interest. Oikawa felt like shaking the very life out of the two, but he didn’t know who to throttle first. “How’d you guys meet?” 

 

_Hinata_ , Oikawa noted as his eyes narrowed. _Hinata’s the first to die._

 

Sugawara rubbed the back of his neck as he recalled. "I don't know," he admitted, moving his hand to rest on Oikawa's shoulder. The curve of his fingers just barely brushed against the skin above Oikawa's collar, and he could feel the hair on his arms rise as a tremor ran down his spine. “I had moved to this area when I was really little, but I just barely remember it. I was lonely though, I remember that. I missed all my old friends,” he explained, a soft smile touching his lips. “My parents had told me to stop moping and they kicked me outside to play. I was exploring the neighborhood, and I met Iwaizumi. I thought he was catching beetles, but then Tooru fell out of the tree right on top of him, screaming at the top of his lungs. He scared us both so badly.”

 

“I do not scream,” Oikawa corrected coldly. “I never have and never will.”

 

“You don’t fly either, Tooru.” The sweet tone Sugawara used didn’t match the meaning behind his words at all.

 

“Kou-chan,” Oikawa said rather stiffly, drawing himself up to his full height, “I don’t appreciate or need your sass. I get enough in my own club.”

 

“You’re still getting bullied? You need new best friends.”

 

“I’ll start by replacing you.”

 

Sugawara laughed, mussing Oikawa’s hair and grinning cheekily. “You can never get rid of me, Tooru, I’m here to stay.”

 

“You’re like a leech.”

 

“Aww, but you called me pretty just five minutes ago,” Sugawara protested, his hand falling from Oikawa’s hair to his shoulder again. This time, his warm fingers brushed against cold bare skin, causing Oikawa to jolt. 

 

“I’m done,” Oikawa announced abruptly, clapping his hands together loudly and shoving his chair back to stand. He just barely missed slamming it into Sugawara. “I admit defeat, I’ve lost this battle of words.”

 

“Another win for Sugawara-san,” Kenma observed dryly, pulling out a notebook and marking a tally. Just a quick glance at the written table showed that Oikawa was losing sorely. His eye twitched.

 

“Kenma, that pun battle yesterday didn’t count. Kou-chan’s puns were lame, we agreed on that.”

 

“Unbeelievable,” Sugawara said gravely, shaking his head. He slipped his hands into the back pockets of his pants.

 

“No!” Oikawa screeched, glaring at Sugawara. “We’re not starting this again. No more bees.”

 

Hinata stared at the notebook page, pointing a chubby finger to another column. “Hanamaki-san won that battle, though. I remember Kenma used red ink to mark it, see?” Sure enough, he was right.

 

Oikawa huffed, throwing up his hands. “Fine! It doesn’t matter! This is fun and all, but the bell's about to ring, and I haven't had my drink yet. So if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be going to the vending machine.” That wasn't exactly a lie. He remembered buying a drink, two in fact, but he must've left them near the locker rooms. With any luck, Nishinoya or Tanaka had found them so they didn't get thrown away. They were firm believers in not wasting food, no matter how suspicious it might be.

 

Hinata snorted into his hand, trying hard not to laugh.

 

“No,” Kenma warned, picking up his PSP again. “Don’t do it, Shouyou.”

 

“I’ll _bee_ going.”

 

"I'll go with you," Sugawara interrupted hurriedly in an attempt to distract Oikawa, who was busy rolling up his sleeves to fight Hinata. "Kageyama needs a new drink since Hinata drank the coffee milk he was supposed to be fetching." 

 

Hinata, who had been dancing in place with his fists held up, ready to fight, jumped back in alarm and spat out the straw he was chewing. "Ah, no! I forgot! He's gonna kill me! Oh no! Kenma, I’m gonna die, what do I do?” The color from his face drained away as he imagined Kageyama’s reaction. He would never trust Hinata again after this. It was even worse than the time Hinata had served to the back of his head. This time, it had to do with his _milk_.

 

"Sorry, Kou-chan," Oikawa excused smoothly, talking over Hinata’s miniature meltdown on the floor. He tugged his sleeves back down, satisfied that Kageyama could fight Hinata well enough that he didn’t need to get involved. "I'm going to get juice. The machines are on different sides of campus, and you'd be late for class if you go to both." _Lame excuse_ , he berated himself silently.

 

"Ah, that's okay," Sugawara laughed easily, his eyes resting on Oikawa for an uncomfortably long time. "I have to find Kageyama first, anyway. I'll see you guys later!"

 

Oikawa tried not to let his eyes follow him out of the room.

 

* * *

 

“You gotta get your act together, Tooru,” Iwaizumi said with a roll of his eyes, tossing a paper ball in the air with one hand. He was slouching in a small chair with his feet propped on Oikawa’s lap– what might’ve been a comfortable position if it weren’t for his size. Running a family dojo with _his_ kind of father would do that to a man.

 

“Iwa-chan, I can’t do it,” Oikawa moaned, pressing his forehead against the tip of Iwaizumi’s shoe. “It’s been so long. I can’t take it anymore.”

 

“I don’t understand,” Iwaizumi growled in frustration, throwing the paper ball at Oikawa. It bounced off his head to fall to the floor. “Stop fucking punishing yourself and just go confess or something. Honestly.”

 

“You don’t understand anything at all,” Oikawa pouted, biting his lip and sniffling. “Comfort me.”

 

“What do you want me to say?” Iwaizumi asked helplessly. “He loves you? He stares at you whenever he thinks you aren’t looking? He gets that stupid ass puppy smile whenever you’re in the same room? You should corner him in the volleyball team’s locker room and ravage him senseless?”

 

Oikawa sniffed and stared at Iwaizumi, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “What?”

 

Iwaizumi shrugged and crossed his arms across his chest, flashing Oikawa a knowing look. “Just checking to see if you were actually listening or if you reached that point where you tune everything out and wallow in self-despair.”

 

“I do not wallow. You’re terrible at cheering me up, Iwa-chan.”

 

Iwaizumi shrugged. “You don’t need cheering up, you need a solid kick in the ass to get you in gear. If you really needed comforting, you wouldn’t have come to me. I would’ve had to chase you down to figure out why you’re upset. Right now you’re just trying to avoid your feelings.”

 

“I’m not avoiding anything,” Oikawa insisted, tossing his head to flip his bangs out of his eyes. “I’m having a midlife crisis and you’re supposed to be comforting me.”

 

“I’m not sure you understand what a midlife crisis is considered,” Iwaizumi remarked dryly. 

 

“Stop dodging the topic,” Oikawa whined, slapping Iwaizumi’s shins lightly. “Just help me out, please?”

 

“I offered you advice, what more do you want?”

 

“There wasn’t advice in any of that.”

 

“Ravaging,” Iwaizumi supplied, smirking smugly.

 

Oikawa groaned and hid his face in his hands. “You aren’t taking this seriously at all. You’re just like Makki and Mattsun, they said the same thing to me yesterday.”

 

“You caught me. But speaking of that pair, they still need to pick up the new camera lenses we bought almost a month ago. The club room isn’t their house, they gotta take their shit home.”

 

“Isn’t that _your_ job to tell them, Mr. President of the Photography Club?” The dangerous look Oikawa received sent him scrambling out the door. “I’ll tell them right away,” he sang with a salute.

 

Iwaizumi shook his head and swung himself to an upright position, turning back to the paperwork he had yet to finish. Break time was over.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa picked at the paint of the stairs again, the same spot he had started to scrape just a few weeks ago. It was beginning to look like someone had been trying to dig out a bullet with a plastic spoon, but he felt that it was an accurate representation of how he felt. He stretched his legs out in front of him as he listened to yet another confession. It was colder outside than it had been all month and he cursed himself for not bringing a scarf.

 

“I’m sorry," Sugawara apologized to the girl. His voice was soft, but it didn't quite sound sad. Oikawa wondered if that was better or worse for the girl. "I'm really happy that you feel that way about me, but I've been spending so much time playing volleyball that I haven't been able to think about any other stuff. Thank you, though." 

 

_I shouldn't have waited_ , Oikawa thought to himself sourly, exhaling in annoyance. _I should've just gone home._ Sighing, he stood up and brushed off the seat of his pants before walking hurriedly to the bus stop that was a few minutes away from the school entrance. The camera bag strapped across his chest hung just over his thigh, hitting him in the same place with every step. He would probably have a bruise later. He shifted it only to pull the camera out, peering through it and clicking through settings as he waited for the next bus.

 

Sugawara appeared at the school gate a few minutes later, his sports bag in his hand. He wasn't wearing his workout clothes anymore but was now heavily layered in a thick hoodie and his volleyball jacket. His silver hair was covered in a knitted black hat, and, if Oikawa guessed right, he was wearing a few shirts underneath the getup as well– Sugawara hated the cold.

 

Oikawa cursed himself for not bringing a scarf again.

 

Sugawara slowly shuffled across the street with his head down, not looking up until he was a few yards away. Recognition flashed across his face as he spotted Oikawa, and he beamed and picked up his pace. Oikawa slid on a matching smile, nodding his head in greeting. _You really shouldn't look so happy after that,_ he thought, the confession scene replaying in his head, but he let the words die on his lips. 

 

"Tooru!" Sugawara said breathlessly, standing only a few inches away. "How come you're here so late?"

 

"I got stuck cleaning the clubroom," Oikawa lied with a pout, thumbing the edge of his camera. "Kenma left to walk home with Kuroo, even thought it was his job today. It took forever, and I missed the bus."

 

"Ah, me too," Suga replied. "Cleaning, I mean.”

 

“Don’t you guys clean as a team?”

 

“Of course,” Sugawara replied simply. “But Nishinoya and Tanaka cornered Asahi to show him something, and soon the entire team was doing everything but cleaning.”

 

“Huh. I didn’t think Sawamura-kun would allow that.”

 

Sugawara laughed. “He doesn’t. He came back from a talk with our coach and we all had to run laps before we started cleaning again.”

 

“Poor Kou-chan,” Oikawa commented. 

 

“Yeah, poor me,” Sugawara teased. “I’m super hungry now. You wanna go to the convenience store with me? I’ll cook for you after.”

 

Oikawa chewed on his lower lip in thought. It wasn’t like his family was home– his parents were both at a fashion show, and his sister was at a friend’s for the night. His house was always cold when he was alone. “Alright,” he agreed. “But I need pictures.”

 

“Pictures of what?” Sugawara looked slightly alarmed. “I wasn’t planning on getting anything fancy.”

 

“You, of course,” Oikawa said, rolling his eyes and sticking out his tongue. “I _am_ running a business. And you always have to ask your model for consent.”

 

Sugawara exhaled quickly, blowing his hair out of his eyes. “You already know my answer, Tooru. I don’t mind.”

 

Oikawa raised his camera and snapped a quick shot of Sugawara huddled in his jacket, cheeks red from the wind. “Alright,” he agreed. “Let’s get out of this cold.”

 

Sugawara cheered and skipped away from the bus stop, turning to walk backwards as he waited for Oikawa to catch up. Oikawa laughed, the chilly air biting his throat. _He didn’t say anything about getting asked out_ , he thought bitterly behind his smile. _Or rejecting her. And now I’m laughing as if I don’t know anything._

 

_I wonder…I wonder which one of us has it harder._

 

* * *

Oikawa sat at his computer desk at home, huddled in a quilt and grumbling as he edited each photo he had uploaded earlier that day. Usually editing didn’t take him more than a handful of hours, but he wasn’t satisfied with these, and the morning sun had finally risen to greet him before he gave up and padded towards his bedroom, wearing his quilt like a cloak that dragged on the floor behind him. 

 

It was sad. He had finally managed to find the time to take pictures of the girls at school, and they had been a big hit. His picture selling business was booming. But the photos seemed…flat. Poised. The girls were beautiful, and they knew how to make themselves look appealing for the camera, but they simply lacked the naturalness that guys had. That Sugawara had.

 

It wasn’t fun to take their pictures. They were like every other model he had grown up – his own sister was a model. He knew how they worked, how they sold their image to convey a certain message. He didn’t want any messages in his pictures. Besides, it was a pain to lug around two cameras everywhere.

 

He sighed and plopped into bed, worn out. Sleep overtook him before his head hit the pillow.

 

* * *

 

(1:33) **[group chat: “stop changing the group name” was renamed “M3MESQUAD4DAYS”]**

 

(1:34) **guess what time it is memelords**

 

(1:34)  _you’re the memelord makki_

(1:35)  _and idk uhh_

(1:35)  _time to sin_ >:3c

 

(1:35)  **gross issei, don’t use that face near me**

(1:35)  **besides that was yesterday**

(1:35)  **today is the day of our lord**

(1:36) **sunday, for you uneducated nonbeliever children**

(1:36) **anyway, try again**

 

(1:37) _adventure time?_

 

(1:37) **ur not very good at this guessing game**

(1:38)  **it’s tIME FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE TO WAKE UP~**

 

(1:40) _why does memesquad have a 3_

 

(1:44) **[group chat: “M3MESQUAD4DAYS” was renamed “dear lord”]**

 

(1:45)  **who ruined my title u losers**

(1:45)  **did iwaizumi do it again**

 

(1:46) i wake up when i want and i change titles when i want ( ▰ ˘ ︹ ˘ ▰ )

 

(1:47)  **tooru ur so lame**

 

(1:48) **[group chat: “dear lord” was renamed “deer lord”]**

 

(1:48)  _i fixed it for you babe_

 

(1:49)  **aw babe ily**

 

(1:50) STOPPPP you’re blowing up my phone

(1:50) i wanted to sleep in more (˃  ⌑ ˂ ഃ )

 

(1:52)  _sleep is for the weak_

 

(1:53)  **and the week**

(1:53)  **today’s sunday**

(1:53)  **no sleep for you**

 

(1:55) _wait were you seriously still sleeping oikawa_

 

(1:56) iwa-chan SOME of us need our beauty sleep ( ✿ ◡ ‿ ◡ฺ )zzz

 

(1:56)  **SOME of us are already too pretty**

 

(1:57)  _i bet if makki slept, we’d all have to wear sunglasses or else we’d go blind_

(1:57)  _he’s just that pretty_

 

(1:58)  **ISSEIIII i wanna hug you**

(1:58)  **y’know what**

(1:59)  **i will**

(1:59)  **since we’re sitting right next to each other**

 

(2:01) IM AWAKE PLS STOP

(2:01) you don’t need to text us if you’re right next to each other 

(2:02) also iwa-chan wants you guys to pick up the camera lenses at the club room

 

(2:04) _what the hell oikawa_

(2:04) _i asked you to tell them that like two weeks ago_

(2:05) _have those lenses been in the room for that long_

(2:05) _thats such a waste of our budget like wtf_

 

(2:06) i might’ve hid them so you wouldn’t notice

(2:06) then i forgot

 

(2:06)  **yea yea yea we’ll pick them up tomorrow or something**

(2:07)  **see ya losers**

 

(2:07)  _get rest_

(2:08)  _dammit no_

(2:08)  _you’ve slept enough_

(2:08)  _i meant get rekt_

 

* * *

“Suga,” Daichi called, raising an arm in greeting as he strode to Oikawa’s desk. “A girl left a message for you.”

 

Sugawara looked up from the phone in Oikawa’s hand that they had been staring at, surprised. He raised a hand to point to himself questioningly. “Me?”

 

“Yup. She’s out in the hall. I think her name is…Hirama? She’s a second year.”

 

“Ah, okay.” He stood up and stretched his back. “I suppose I have to start heading back to my own class, anyway. It’ll start in fifteen minutes or so. I’ll take my leave now, Tooru.”

 

“See ya, Kou-chan,” Oikawa said, pocketing his phone and saluting Sugawara’s back. “I’ll meet you after practice.”

 

Daichi nodded to Oikawa and followed after his friend, leaving Oikawa alone in a silence that felt unnatural. He was used to hanging out with Kenma, but the first year had disappeared like he sometimes did. He was like a stray cat.

 

Oikawa sighed to himself, bored. He had no desire to sit around by himself awkwardly, especially if he could be working. That decision made, he strode to the clubroom, confident in the fact that it would be his for the taking since Iwaizumi had left school early for an important sparring match at his dojo. The other club members rarely visited the room during lunch, especially this late into the rest period– only Iwaizumi was weird enough to work during the lunch break.

 

Oikawa unlocked the door to the clubroom and threw his messenger bag to the floor carelessly, rolling his shoulders to relieve the cramped muscles of his back before swinging himself into the computer chair beside the door. There weren’t any club activities today, but he had promised Yachi that he would edit a few of her pictures before he’d head home to begin his own work. It was better to get them out of the way now and hand them directly to her after school. He pulled out his headphones and deftly inserted one bud into his ear, thumbing his phone screen until music began to loudly pound into his skull. His fingers tapped a rhythm on the surface of the desk as the computer screen slowly came to life.

 

“Ah, you came.” The voice came from directly behind him– low, soft, and completely unexpected. The room was supposed to be _empty_.

 

Oikawa leaped off the chair with a screech, sending it rolling backward at an extreme angle that almost tipped it over. He lurched forward onto the desk in a panic, reaching for the nearest object, something, anything he could use as a makeshift weapon. His hands groped against the smooth wooden surface until his fingers connected with something solid. He seized it and whirled, holding it in the air above his head threateningly, his other arm poised across his face in defense.

 

Kenma sat blinking on the couch, his face just barely revealing how startled he really was at Oikawa’s reaction. Kageyama sat beside him, a PSP across his lap, his face frozen in an expression that might’ve passed for surprise. A small figure smushed between the pair shifted and snuggled closer to Kenma’s lap, a track jacket covering all but the orange tips of his hair.

 

Oikawa straightened and coughed awkwardly, hurriedly hiding his hand behind his back. His earbud fell out of his ear and hung limply against the front of his sweater. He made no move to replace it.

 

“Fancy seeing you here,” he finally managed. It came out as a croak. His heart was beating a mile a minute in his throat.

 

“So you do scream,” Kenma said thoughtfully.

 

Oikawa’s gaze narrowed into slits, any embarrassment he was holding wiped away. “Oh, shut up,” he retorted, sniffing in disdain and busying himself with the task of straightening his blazer. “The lights aren’t on and the door was locked. You guys aren’t even supposed to be in here.”

 

“So…you tried to attack us with the computer mouse?” Kageyama asked, eyebrows knitting together.

 

Oikawa winced internally. They had seen. “I had every right,” he boasted aloud haughtily. “What are you even doing in here, Tobio-chan? This isn’t your clubroom.” 

 

“He’s with me,” Kenma answered for him.

 

Oikawa waited for him to continue, to no avail. “So…?” He gestured in the air impatiently. “How’d you get in without a key?”

 

“Iwaizumi-san let us in before he left,” Kageyama replied. “Kozume-kun had to return a camera.”

 

“So why are you two here?” Oikawa asked in frustration, gesturing to Hinata. “Don’t you have practice or something?”

 

“Shouyou wanted to sleep,” Kenma shrugged. “I stay in here during lunch when he gets like this. Iwaizumi-san doesn’t mind.”

 

_So that’s where he goes_ , Oikawa thought to himself, pursing his lips. He felt slightly betrayed, although he had no reason to be. “How does Chibi-chan get tired?” he asked instead. “I thought he was a mass of pure, unfiltered energy. Runs on solar power and everything.” Hinata rolled in his sleep as if he had heard.

 

Kageyama shifted a little to his right without a thought as he replied, creating enough space that Hinata could continue to sleep undisturbed on the cramped couch. “We’ve been running more drills during lunch so he’s bound to get tired. I don’t think he sleeps that well at home either. His baby sister is teething.”

 

“Baby sister?”

 

“Natsu,” Kageyama affirmed, his gaze softening with the mention of her name. “She’s still really small, and she’ll wake him up a couple times every night.”

 

Oikawa rubbed the bridge of nose tiredly. “Look, I just have to make a few quick edits and then I’m gone. I’d rather not be late to class, so you guys just do you, quietly, over there on the couch.”

 

Kenma stared at him, not amused, but he kept quiet and returned to his phone.

 

* * *

“Oikawa-san, this photo is incredible,” Yachi gasped, delicately holding the edges of a photograph in both hands as her eyes roved over it thirstily. “The highlights on his face are so soft despite the harsh lighting!” She examined it closer. “Wait, did you take this near the bus stop outside? How’d you manage that? I would’ve thought the trees would block out any decent source of light but…” She gestured to all of it with an envious sigh, unable to complete her thought. “I’ve tried taking so many different shots at so many different angles, but I haven’t been able to create the same ambiance with my photos yet. It’s like you have magic hands!”

 

“Join our club and I’ll show you,” Oikawa offered lightly, poking his tongue out. “I’d teach you everything I know and more.” His voice was teasing, but he meant every word. Yachi, despite being just a first year, had a passion for photography that rivaled his own. He couldn’t believe he had let her slip through his fingers to become a manager for the volleyball team. Luckily, since the team’s practices were some of his prime photo shoots, they ran into each other often and were able to discuss photography, but it wasn’t the same. She had an eye for design, a talent that would blossom one day. He wanted to be a part of that.

 

He didn’t realize how flustered she had gotten from his small comment until he glanced up, breaking away from his mournful thoughts with a sigh. 

 

“Forgive me!” she shouted, causing Oikawa to jump a few inches in the air. She blushed a brighter red, her blonde hair falling into her eyes as she held out the photograph in her hands as if she expected him to rip it away. “I would if I could, but I can’t because if I left the team now, what if they didn’t make it to nationals? Not that they need me to go to nationals, because they’re way too good. And I can’t handle that much responsibility. Oh no, but imagine, what if I got sick? What if I couldn’t show up that day and they lost and then they blamed me?” Her eyes grew wider with every word she spewed, her theories quickly nosediving into the realm of impossibilities.

 

Oikawa watched in amazement for a few more moments before he held up a single finger, effectively cutting her off. “I was joking, Hitoka-chan.” He smiled warmly, pouring all his energy into looking as reassuring as possible. He was slightly frightened that if she began to talk any faster she would self-combust. “I’m nearly one-hundred percent sure the team would not resort to cannibalism if you died before nationals. I don’t think you have to worry about…well, either of those things happening anytime in this lifetime. And you _are_ welcome to visit the clubroom anytime, too! I’ve got a few different cameras I’d like for you to try out. And I also finished editing the photos you sent me, I’ll drop them off once volleyball practice is over.”

 

“Ah, Oikawa-san, you’re so kind!” Yachi blushed deeper, her hands fluttering in front of her until Oikawa kindly took back the photograph. She laughed weakly, her small fingers twisting in her hair nervously. “I really should go now, Kiyoko-san probably needs help with the inventory since the team will be done soon. Thank you again!” She bowed quickly, almost slamming her head on his desk, before scrambling out of the room.

 

“Wow,” a pretty girl standing beside his desk remarked, biting her glossy lip in an attempt to hide a smile. "She's very...flighty. What's the picture she was looking at?"

 

“Hirama-chan~” Oikawa sang, his smile shifting every so slightly. It was no less brilliant, only losing a few degrees of its natural warmth that he reserved for friends. “It’s Sugawara, of course. My star model!”

 

Hirama held out a hand in question, wordlessly nodding her thanks when Oikawa gingerly dropped the photograph into her hand. The pad of her thumb rested firmly on the bottom corner.

 

Oikawa’s smile grew a bit wider, looking a little more forced. That would leave a thumbprint.

 

“He’s so elegant,” she sighed, gazing at it lovingly. She couldn’t see the twitching eye that Oikawa was trying to restrain. He didn’t like where this was going. “How much is a picture again? Can I have it? I’d like a good luck charm.”

 

“Oh?” Oikawa asked, voice sounding strangled as if the words were sticking to the roof of his mouth before he was able to spit them out. “A lucky charm? For what?”

 

“Ah!” She covered her face with a hand, blushing a soft pink that matched her nail polish and lipstick. “It’s nothing! Really, please, just forget I said that, it’s so embarrassing. It doesn’t matter, honest.”

 

_Well, it doesn’t matter because it’s not for sale_ , Oikawa screamed childishly in his mind, fighting back the urge to rip it from her hands. “I’ll sell it for just five hundred yen~”

 

“Done!”

 

She skipped away happily, hugging her new photograph to her chest. 

 

Oikawa sourly poked at the money on his desk with a pencil, refusing to touch it.

 

“Fuck.”

 

He spent the rest of lunch, no, the rest of the school day, staring out the window with an irritable expression painting his face, effectively cutting off conversations before they began. He flipped through the stack of envelopes on his desk to pass time. If anyone noticed that the thickest one was usually on top of the pile, they didn’t comment. They didn’t mention the scrawled name of _Koushi_ on the top right corner either. 

 

The final bell couldn’t ring soon enough.

 

* * *

 

Oikawa reached the gym doors, breathless, a camera hanging from his neck. He steadied it with his hands as he inhaled deeply, letting the cold air fill his lungs before he reached to open the doors.

 

“I heard you screamed today!” Hinata exclaimed from behind him.

 

Oikawa bit his lip to prevent from screeching again, instead banging his head on the solid door repeatedly as a guttural groan resounded from the back of his throat. “Is there something you need?” he asked wearily, turning slowly to gaze at the first year.

 

“Nah. Kenma was here a few minutes ago, over by the baseball locker room with Kuroo. I was just saying bye. He told me that if you came in the next ten minutes, I was to tell you, ’Sugawara-san isn’t in the gym.’ Whatever that means.”

 

Oikawa’s face fell for a split second before he smiled cheerfully. He should’ve expected it, honestly. Of course Kenma knew. “Thank you, Chibi-chan~ I’ll just go get a drink then. Maybe he’ll be back by the time I’m done.”

 

Hinata slipped past him, waving in goodbye as the door closed behind him. Oikawa stood on the steps for a few minutes before he spun around and headed towards the back of the gym. He wouldn’t be able to reach his normal spot by the stairs without being seen, but nobody would question if he loitered by the wall at this time of the day. As he drew closer, he dug his phone out of his pocket and held it to his face, pretending to take a call.

 

“I’m sorry to call you away from practice,” Hirama murmured, her shaky voice just barely audible over the shouts coming from inside the gym. God, why was Nishinoya always so _loud_? Oikawa couldn’t quite make out what she was saying, but she seemed to have a lot to get out. 

 

He sighed and leaned against the wall. _I probably shouldn’t be eavesdropping anymore_ , he mused. _I should give Yachi her photographs back now. It’d be a better use of my time._

 

“I’m sorry,” the broken record response began. Oikawa mouthed the response back with him, mimicking him mockingly. “It’s just that…I have someone I like.” 

 

Oikawa’s eyes widened in shock.

 

“That’s why I can’t go out with you. I’m sorry.”

 

_He…likes…someone?_ He let the hand holding his phone drop to his side, standing in a shocked silence to absorb the new information.

 

Hiraba managed to say something politely and maturely in response before shuffling away, which was more than Oikawa had given her credit for. He almost felt bad for charging her four hundred extra yen for a good luck charm that didn’t work. Almost. He was too busy thinking of other, more important things to feel sorry over good business deals. His brain was moving a mile a minute, jumping from thought to thought without reason.

 

_It…might be better for everyone if Koushi decided to go out with someone. He could be happy. Cherish someone he loves. And then I…then I could finally…_ Could finally what? Stop profiting off of people’s feelings? Stop hiding behind a camera lens for an excuse to stare at his face? 

 

Or maybe he could finally just fucking move on in his life. Let Sugawara be part of a happy couple in his last year of high school. Make picture perfect memories. Oikawa could even take them. He had hidden his feelings this long, why not add another period of indefinite time? 

 

He fought back the tidal wave of panic and depression that followed the thought, the raw emotion that closed his throat and made it hard to breathe. He closed his eyes and struggled to shut off his brain, to stop the train of thoughts before it wrecked in a fiery explosion that set his head aflame in pain, but it was so overpowering and just drained him of energy. He couldn’t fight it anymore. He couldn’t hide anymore. But he wanted to so badly. He slid down the wall to land on the ground with a thump that jarred his tailbone, but he didn’t care. He wanted to be home in the darkroom of his studio, his camera film in hand and the quiet silence filling his head. He was going to throw up, he needed–

 

–the X-Files theme song interrupted his thoughts, blasting loudly from his phone as it rang to warn him he had a text. Oikawa almost dropped it in alarm, keeping it from falling to the pavement only by sheer luck and determination. Any dark thought in his mind immediately fled, leaving only one to remain.

 

_SHIT_.

 

He had forgotten where he was. The sound of sneakers against concrete came closer, stopping in front of him. He didn’t need to look up to know who it was. 

 

“So you’re hiding here today, huh?” Sugawara asked gently, crouching beside him. His hand hovered over Oikawa’s arm for a slight moment in hesitation before he gave it a soft squeeze in comfort. 

 

“No! What?” Oikawa blustered, forcing a trembling smile onto his face. “I was just taking pictures with my camera, trying out some new spots. Then I got a text. I had forgotten that Kenma had been playing a game on it, so it wasn’t on silent like it usually is. It surprised me when it rang so I fell. On my butt. Which is when you came over.”

 

Sugawara stared into Oikawa’s eyes, gaze unwavering. 

 

It was unnerving. Oikawa gave up his act, dropping his plastered smile and sniffling. Sugawara had always been able to see right through him. There wasn’t a point to acting. He had to accept his punishment one day, and the reaper had just come to collect.

 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Sugawara asked abruptly. 

 

Oikawa glanced up in confusion, but he nodded hesitantly, not knowing where this was going but willing to accept whatever was thrown at him. He just hoped they could stay friends. He didn’t want to lose him. He honestly didn’t know how he would handle it. 

 

“We’re a lot alike,” Sugawara confided. “You see, I like to sit on the stairs by the locker rooms, too. It’s tucked right up against the building and surrounded by hedges, so you can’t really see it until you’re directly in front of it. It’s a nice place to think, or to be alone.”

 

Oikawa winced, waiting for the hammer to fall, to drive the the final nail into his casket. 

 

“We also share the same love of drinks,” he continued. “Thank you for leaving me one a few weeks ago, by the way, although I think you had forgotten yours with it.”

 

“So. You noticed everything.”

 

Sugawara hummed and rocked back on his heels for a few quiet moments. The air was tense between them, but maybe that was only Oikawa’s imagination. Sugawara crossed his arms over his knees and glanced down at Oikawa. “You heard everything, right?”

 

A hesitant nod.

 

Sugawara smiled, cheeks dimpling and eyes lighting up even in the dim light. It was such a tender, pure expression of unfiltered love that Oikawa had to look away. 

 

_It’s not for me_ , Oikawa thought as he choked back tears. _It never was._ He refused to blink, not allowing a drop to escape. He wasn’t going to fucking cry.

 

“So…you know I like someone, I guess?”

 

Oikawa barked out a harsh laugh, wiping his eye with the base of his palm. _No crying_ , he reminded himself. “First time I’ve heard of it, Kou-chan. I didn’t know you could keep a secret so well.”

 

“Mm,” Sugawara hummed, rocking forward onto his toes. His face was only inches from Oikawa’s, cornering him against the wall so he couldn’t move. 

 

There was no escape.

 

“Want to know who?” came the quiet question that hung in the air between them. 

 

Oikawa felt his emotions drifting away like dandelion seeds in the wind as his brain shut him off from the outside world. The tears that threatened to spill were gone. He was left with only one small thought that echoed in his empty, shriveled heart.

 

_Ah_ , it said in a tiny voice that screamed painfully across his nerves like a searing brand. _So here comes my punishment._

 

Sugawara dug in his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, flipping it open with a swift flick of his wrist. A set of pictures rested in the top half. Oikawa could see the top one– the volleyball team at the beginning of the year. A picture he had taken.

 

“Oh?” he asked, voice dull. “Are they in one of my pictures?”

 

Sugawara nodded and gingerly tugged out a folded notebook paper from behind the other pictures. It was dirty and old, decorated in smudged pencil stains that were too faded to read, but the gentle folds stayed firm and it resembled an origami envelope, the kind they had learned to make in primary school. 

 

“That’s dirty, Koushi, I can’t believe you carry that old scrap paper with you in your wallet.”

 

“Of course I do,” Sugawara answered as if it was the most normal thing to carry. “It was the first thing you ever made for me. You were really proud of it, and wrote all our names on it.” He held it up, and Oikawa could just barely make out the messy scribble of kanji. 

 

_Hajime. Tooru. Koushi._

 

He tried not to snort too hard at the terrible butchering of Hajime’s characters. “Why the hell are you carrying that?”

 

“You always told me to keep camera film out of the light. It ruins it. You beat that into my head everyday we played in the darkroom,” he laughed, delicately pulling out a tiny slip of sheer film and holding it up so the light shone through. “I thought this was a perfect way to keep it safe.”

 

There was a set of three pictures on the strip. They were all terribly taken and hadn’t been developed correctly, Oikawa could tell at first glance as he leaned in, but there were two unmistakable young faces peering out, obviously experimenting with a camera for the first time and just playing around. There was a massive dark spot in the upper right corner, and Oikawa vividly remembered his father scolding him for _hours_ because he had touched the lens of the camera with his thumb as he took the photos. Sugawara had apologized profusely for both of them because Oikawa had been too busy crying.

 

“This is who I like,” Sugawara said simply, his smile glowing.

 

Oikawa took a moment to process before flushing deeply, his ears burning. He shot backwards, his back slamming into the gym wall behind him. “What?” he exclaimed hotly. He held his hands over his face as he tried not to die of embarrassment. “Wait! Wait just a second, what do you mean by that? Koushi!”

 

“You were hiding all kinds of things from me,” Sugawara sang, a sly glint in his eye that Oikawa hd never noticed before. “So I decided to hide some of my own.” He flapped the film teasingly, just out of range of Oikawa’s grasping hands. 

 

“What?” Oikawa repeated like a broken record, blinking furiously. His face couldn’t turn any redder. “What the actual fuck, Koushi, what the fuck! I wasn’t hiding anything from you!”

 

“Oh? I recognize that camera,” Sugawara admitted sheepishly, biting his lip.

 

The color from Oikawa’s face drained, his hand reaching for the camera hanging from his neck. “What?”

 

“I didn’t realize it until last year, but you only ever use that camera near me. You swap them out if you take a picture of anybody else.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Koushi,” Oikawa said hurriedly.

 

“That’s okay. Because I love you, Tooru. I always have.”

 

“ _Koushi_ ,” Oikawa hissed, leaping forward to cover Sugawara’s mouth with his hands. “We’re right next to the gym. People can hear you!”

 

“I love you,” Sugawara repeated behind Oikawa’s hand, his lips brushing against the skin creases of his palm like butterfly kisses. His breath was warm, and Oikawa realized that he hadn’t felt cold since Sugawara had pulled out his wallet. He actually felt like he was going to overheat.

 

“You’re being stupid,” Oikawa insisted, his heart dropping with every word that passed his lips. “Stop. I just…I was putting up with it, y’know? Don’t do this to me now. I don’t know how to handle it. Say you don’t.” 

 

_I don’t deserve it_ , he screamed in his mind, going against every fiber in his being that told him he was wrong.

 

Sugawara tugged Oikawa’s hand away from his mouth and leaned closer, their foreheads almost touching. A centimeter of distance separated the two. “Say you love me back?” he asked hopefully, a faint grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

 

“I…” Oikawa began, denial on his lips. He paused. He was quiet for a long minute before he let out a tired, quiet laugh that could’ve been mistaken for a sigh. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Sugawara’s, closing his eyes. Neither of them noticed the tiny teardrop escape the corner of his eye and trickle down his cheek to land on their intertwined hands. 

 

“I love you, Koushi,” Oikawa breathed, shuddering as the words danced away from him, relieving a burden he didn’t know he was carrying. “I love you. Since way back when. I always have.” His cheeks heated again, but he fought the tide of embarrassment that washed over him. It was a good feeling, the same rush that would drown him when Sugawara turned to smile at him for a picture at a game. The same rush when he developed film perfectly to reveal a radiance that seemed to shine from inside Sugawara, like a miniature star, the only light he allowed into his darkroom. 

 

He was everything Oikawa had wanted and more.

**Author's Note:**

> The text that got Oikawa caught was from poor Makki, who couldn't enter the clubroom because it was locked. He was finally trying to get those camera lenses.
> 
> twitter: @shironekki  
> tumblr: kaneki-coffee


End file.
